Things I've said Today

"Please don't try to put that banana up your nose."

"Please stop pretending to be a slug, spitting on the floor to make 'slime' is not OK."

"Owen, honey, while I agree your feet are cute, I do not want them in my coffee."

"Stop making your brother be the stop sign."

"Ellie is a baby, she isn't ordering food from you because she doesn't know how."

"Please stop licking the mirror."

"Please stop licking your brother."

"Please don't lick me."

"Pretend you have no tongue and can't lick anything."

"Shoes don't taste good."

"Don't forget to flush." followed quickly by "NO NO DON'T FLUSH!"

"Yes, bath toys float, no they aren't allowed in the toilet."

"You liked peanut butter and jelly 3 days ago!"

"Please be gentle with the cat."

"See! Of course the cat ran away!"

"Fruit snacks don't count as lunch."

"Did you just tell me my muffins tasted like rocks?!"

"I love you too. But it's still not OK to put play dough down my shirt."

"No jumping on the bed please."

"No jumping on the chairs please."

"No jumping on couch please."

"Go jump on the bed."

"Very nice job wiping your hands, Owen!"

"Owen, your hands are clean now."

"Owen..Honey, please stop using the wipes."

"Where are the wipes?"

"What the....? Is this... chocolate?" :::takes a sniff:: "Oh thank God."