Quick! Someone Come Over! My House is Clean!!

Right now, my entire home is clean and organized. You read that right. Well... minus a few places a guest wouldn't see..like the basement and my closet. I try to maintain the cleanliness of our house, but with 3 kids and tons going on, it's just not always easy to keep it neat and tidy. I hold on tight to the saying about making memories being more important than cleaning messes. That's the reasoning I give myself when I step on inexplicably pointy toys and sop up spilled chocolate milk with the discarded pajamas I found on the floor.

Really, it's our kids who are at fault. Clean spaces attract them like birds to a just washed car. They instinctively know how to make a mess of it in 60 seconds flat.

Brand new box of crayons? Box torn apart and half the crayons broken or with their wrappers ripped off. (That drives me nuts. I'm slightly OCD about the paper on crayons. They need to remain intact.)

Newly reorganized cabinet for the kids cups/plates/bowls and Landon wants the green cup all the way in the back.

200 matchbox cars put into storage boxes and placed lovingly on shelves. Owen decides he needs a car, but can't remember which one- dumps both boxes on the floor.

Eliana, bless her little heart, she's into everything now too and enjoys putting everything in her path, into her mouth. My new pastime is finding objects to pick up before she reaches them. It's her favorite game. That, and throwing food from her highchair.

Anyway, back to my clean house. The dining room table has been cleared of all the school work, receipts and random mail. Landon's desk drawer is neat and tidy. Beds made. No dishes in the sink and the dishwasher is clean. (Which means the kids will be getting their lunch on paper towels today.) Remote controls for the TV, DVD player and cable box are lined up according to size. I even have flowers in a vase sitting prettily in the middle of the now clean dining room table.

I am pleased with myself as I look around, hands on hips, giving a little nod, like Mary Poppins after she magics a room clean. Now I have to leave with the kids, so that the house remains this way.

How to Never Do Laundry Again and other useful DIYs

I find that if you ponder aloud in front of a 4 year old, you will be have a wealth of interesting ideas advised to you from said 4 year old.

For instance, Advice on Laundry:
"Just throw it all out Mommy, and buy new clothes every week. That way you don't have to wash them."

How to Properly Clean Washable Marker Drawings off a Wall:
"I just lick my hand and use that, Mommy. Comes right off!"

Making a Variety of Light, Healthy Meals:
"Mommy, marshmallows are light. See? Very light. That means they're healthy. Just like lettuce...and lettuce."

DIY Bookcases:
"But if you put books in cases, how do you open them? I think you just leave them in a pile next to the bed. I like putting my cup on top of them. See? Like a table."

Being a Big Brother and Fighting:
"Mom, being the big brother and being a nice brother are different things. I can do both! But not always at the same time. Make Owen be good instead. He's too little to be big."

Understanding Your Baby's Needs:
"You have to talk like a baby, Mommy. Ellie doesn't speak English yet. Or port-chew-geese. Try saying: lala blahgah, smoogullygoo. It means....No, no, yucky spoon."

Why Hand Washing is Important:
"If you don't wash your hands, your food will taste like boogers."

How to Style One's Hair:
"No, I don't want to take a hair cut! I like my hair fluffy! We can put gel in it to make it look better."

Suitable Pillows for a Toddler:
"Owen's head is big, Mommy. He needs a big pillow."

Where to Store Tooth Brushes:
"Leave them in the sink. The water from people washing their hands will keep them clean. "

The Perfect Bedtime:
"When you are so tired you can't stand up anymore, it's time to go to bed. If you got to bed when you can still stand up, the bed is boring."

Listening to Teachers at School:
"If you don't listen, you might not hear something good. Like when the teacher says you can do something and you just there because you didn't hear it. Or when she says; 'Don't wipe your nose with your sleeve.' That's important too."

How to Cross a Street:
"You look both ways, and then yell at the cars that don't stop."

How to Settle a Fight between Friends:
"Give her some fruit snacks. She likes those and she'll forget about the game."

The Reasoning Behind Throwing Stuff:
"Arms do those things on their own. I didn't tell them to."

Things I've said Today

"Please don't try to put that banana up your nose."

"Please stop pretending to be a slug, spitting on the floor to make 'slime' is not OK."

"Owen, honey, while I agree your feet are cute, I do not want them in my coffee."

"Stop making your brother be the stop sign."

"Ellie is a baby, she isn't ordering food from you because she doesn't know how."

"Please stop licking the mirror."

"Please stop licking your brother."

"Please don't lick me."

"Pretend you have no tongue and can't lick anything."

"Shoes don't taste good."

"Don't forget to flush." followed quickly by "NO NO DON'T FLUSH!"

"Yes, bath toys float, no they aren't allowed in the toilet."

"You liked peanut butter and jelly 3 days ago!"

"Please be gentle with the cat."

"See! Of course the cat ran away!"

"Fruit snacks don't count as lunch."

"Did you just tell me my muffins tasted like rocks?!"

"I love you too. But it's still not OK to put play dough down my shirt."

"No jumping on the bed please."

"No jumping on the chairs please."

"No jumping on couch please."

"Go jump on the bed."

"Very nice job wiping your hands, Owen!"

"Owen, your hands are clean now."

"Owen..Honey, please stop using the wipes."

"Where are the wipes?"

"What the....? Is this... chocolate?" :::takes a sniff:: "Oh thank God."

Why I haven't posted on my blog in so long

Here's my day:
Wake up, get coffee going while making a bottle for Eliana, and breakfast for the boys.
Ellie goes in her high chair to have her bottle.
Mix creamer into my coffee, stir.
Pick up the bottle that had been chucked across the room.
Change Owen's diaper then ask him to eat his breakfast.
On the way to throw diaper out in the garbage, take first (and only) hot sip of coffee.
Find clothes for Owen and Ellie and grab socks for the outfit Landon picked out for himself. Come downstairs to find Owen has been feeding the cat his waffle.
Cat throws up waffle.
Clean up waffle.
Owen wants another waffle.
Change Ellie's diaper, and put clean clothes on her.
Let her crawl around the living room while the floor is still clear of matchbox cars and puzzle pieces.
Put cold coffee into microwave to heat up.
Landon has finished his breakfast, and is getting himself dressed.
Doesn't like the socks I picked out, goes to room and picks identical socks.
Realize I never hit start on the microwave.
Hit start.
Accidentally step on cat's tail.
Feed Eliana her babyfood with one hand,
Check facebook and email with other.
Stop because I can't find Owen.
Find Owen in the bathroom brushing his teeth, while sitting in the sink.
Change his clothes.
Eliana is now upset that I left her to get Owen.
Finish feeding her while saying "Owen stop kicking your brother" and "Landon brush your teeth and put your shoes on."
Change out of my pajamas.
Find Landon sitting at the bottom of the stairs puting his shoes on with his tooth brush is in his mouth.
Laugh.
Remember coffee.
Take a sip. It's cold again.
Back into the microwave. Make sure to put extra time so it'll stay warm longer.
Get Owen's socks and shoes on, and grab the jackets for the boys.
Grab my coffee out of the microwave and take a sip. Burn my tongue.
Silently curse.
Pour coffee into travel mug.
Bring mug and diaper bag to the car.
Turn the car on.
Back into the house to find Owen has taken off his shoes.
Landon puts his coat, gloves, and hat on. Stands by the door and remembers he has to go to the bathroom.
Owen has his shoes on again, and jacket on.
Put Owen in the car first, then Ellie.
Get Landon in the car.
Lock the front door, get in the car.
Drive Landon to school. Check facebook and email on my phone while waiting for our turn at drop-off.
Try drinking coffee-not too hot, gulp it down.
Back home in less than 12 minutes.
Take Owen and Ellie out of the car.
Owen and Ellie both need diaper changes.
Owen decides to break dance while I change his diaper.
Eliana crawls all the way under a chair and freaks out because she's stuck.
Step on cat's tail again.
Get Ellie out from under chair, calm her down.
Turn to find Owen is naked. 10 seconds, I swear.
Feed cat because he looks like he might kill me in my sleep if I accidentally step on his tail again. Time for Eliana's nap.
Get all the way to her crib before remembering I forgot her pacifier downstairs.
Back down the stairs.
Pacifier.
Back up the stairs.
Put Eliana in her crib.
Back down stairs.
Owen is putting together a puzzle that has 10 pieces. There are 4308954343 puzzle pieces on the floor.
Give Owen his snack and I grab some breakfast for myself.
Check the internet for news and stuff.
Play hide and go seek with Owen hiding everytime, in the same spot everytime.
Finally get him to let me hide. Hide in bathroom with light off. Owen can't find me.
For a brief second think about letting him search for a few minutes.
Jump out excitedly thinking it'll make him laugh.
He cries.
Calm him down.
Read the same 5 page book 14 times. Try to change words, Owen gets angry. Read book again. Clean up toys.
Eliana wakes up exactly one hour after falling asleep.
Bring her downstairs, change diaper, strap her into her car seat and hand her her bottle.
Get Owen's shoes and jacket on.
Get my jacket on.
Step outside to turn car on.
Forgot shoes.
Put shoes on.
Get kids in the car. Drive to Landon's school, pick him up, and back home again in 20 minutes. Get everyone out of the car.
Make lunch while the kids all watch Rio for the 800th time.
Get scolded for singing the movie soundtrack.
Pry kids away from couch to eat lunch.
Feed Ellie her babyfood.
Get hungry. Throw left over dinner in microwave.
Change Owen's diaper, find his pacifier and lovey, put him in his bed for his nap.
Come back downstairs to find Ellie has spit up and is playing with it.
Silently curse.
Clean up Ellie, the highchair and the wall (how did it get there?)
See Landon starting to fall asleep on the couch.
Act as silly and loud as possible to wake him up because if he naps, he'll be up until 11pm.
Ellie is in her jumperoo.
Happy Baby.
2 minutes and 27 seconds later.
Screaming baby.
Pick her up.
Happy Baby.
Landon falls asleep again.
Turn on the wii and challenge Landon to a game of his choice.
He chooses a one player game.
Watch him play while teaching Eliana the fine art of "Patty Cake" and Peek-a-boo.
Make her laugh so hard she spits up on me.
Go change my shirt.
Find Owen standing at his bedroom door..naked.
Grab his clothing, and discarded diaper, bring him downstairs where he decides to play "run away from Mommy, while screaming."
Runs directly into dining room table.
Cries.
Calm him down. Turn to find Landon playing very nicely with his sister.
Pause to remember the moment.
Then remember cameras were invented.
Find camera.
Moment gone.
Put camera on dining room table.
Get snacks for the boys.
Time for Eliana's nap.
Come back downstairs to find Owen sitting on the dining room table taking self-portraits with my camera.
Step on cat's tail while getting Owen off the table.
Time to bring out the playdough. Boys play nicely, sharing the playdough.
Pause to remember the moment.
Oh yea, camera.
Take picture just as Landon sneezes and Owen smushes playdough into carpet.
Spend next 5 minutes picking playdough out of carpet.
Give Owen a coloring book and new crayons.
Have Landon work with me on his letters and numbers and do a few pages of a workbook.
Give him stickers for a job well done.
Give Owen stickers because he didn't color on the wall.
Clean up the toys.
Ellie wakes up.
Bring her downstairs, give her a bottle.
Start making dinner.
Let kids play wii while I cook.
Break up several arguments over who's turn it is and the proper way to use the wii remote.
Get Ellie out of her high chair.
Can't find bottle.
Anywhere.
Put Ellie on the floor and get her a bunch of toys to occupy her.
She crawls away immediately to find a car to stick in her mouth.
Return to cooking dinner.
Pinterest and facebook. (so many ideas!)
Dinner is ready.
Have Landon set the table.
Portion out everyone's plates. Call kids to the table.
Husband isn't home yet.
Feed Eliana her dinner while kids eat.
Start the bath and get towels, pajamas and diapers all ready while kids clean up their toys.
Bring kids up for the bath.
Give all three a bath.
Bath over.
My arms and face are wet from the splashing.
Get Ellie out of the bath while helping Owen out.
Get Ellie dressed while Owen enjoys his naked run around his bedroom.
Get Owen dressed.
Landon changes his mind about the pajamas and changes them.
Bring the kids downstairs to play for a few more minutes and spend time with Pete who has just arrived home after working a very long day.
Heat up his dinner.
Heat up my dinner.
Owen and Landon brush teeth.
Take Owen up to bed.
Give Eliana her last bottle.
Eat dinner.
Put Eliana to bed.
Put on pajamas.
Look at kitchen and decide to leave dishes for tomorrow morning.
Exhausted.
Read facebook, email and news stories. News makes me angry. Find a funny website.
Laugh.
Try repeatedly to get Landon to go to bed.
Check the internet again for breaking news and answer my notifications on facebook.
Landon stays up until 11pm because he "can't sleep."
Take shower.
Finally fall asleep at 11:45pm.
Owen wakes up at 11:52 for a hug.
Go back to sleep.
Wake up at 3:05 am to go to the bathroom.
Get scared by cat jumping out of the shower.
Can't fall back asleep until 4:45am.
Wake up and do it again.

My Ellie Belly.

It's been awhile, and I definitely need to make a major update but here are 2 adorable pictures of my Eliana.

my boys

another picture